Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
