omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
