Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
