he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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