i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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