I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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