Yo dont text me then not text me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
