Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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