Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
