That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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