What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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