sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
