Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
