Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
