I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
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I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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