In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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