Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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