woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
