He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
