I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
