fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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