Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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