whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
