I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
