Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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