Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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