I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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