Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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