The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
