Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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