dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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