he thought i was a dude.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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