We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
