He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
