Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm passing your future prison.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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