I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
