Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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