The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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