The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
