I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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