when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
