I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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