The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
