My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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