Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
