Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
