Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick