Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.

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(760): dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell. http://tfl.nu/ywtf

Replies (12) Good night (3372) Bad night (662)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

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(910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm

Replies (57) Good night (16996) Bad night (1130)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.

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(774): Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class. http://tfl.nu/k4fe

Replies (26) Good night (6358) Bad night (662)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.

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(703): Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college. http://tfl.nu/9le9

Replies (14) Good night (6795) Bad night (784)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking

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(603): i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking http://tfl.nu/kntc

Replies (17) Good night (5294) Bad night (816)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw

Replies (11) Good night (1104) Bad night (3648)
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(812): View more from Indiana

ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one

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(812): ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one http://tfl.nu/2d1e

Replies (16) Good night (856) Bad night (4195)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."

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(412): Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers." http://tfl.nu/fu3x

Replies (11) Good night (995) Bad night (3050)
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(361): View more from Texas

Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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(361): Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am. http://tfl.nu/g88o

Replies (1) Good night (1161) Bad night (2210)
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(940): View more from Texas

This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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(940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7

Replies (9) Good night (2351) Bad night (935)
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(817): View more from Texas

then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

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(817): then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand. http://tfl.nu/4p59

Replies (6) Good night (1308) Bad night (953)
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(516): View more from New York

Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you

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(516): Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you http://tfl.nu/ijza

Replies (2) Good night (1391) Bad night (584)
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(607): View more from New York

So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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(607): So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear? http://tfl.nu/a30u

Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (382)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.

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(615): We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND. http://tfl.nu/votz

Replies (1) Good night (750) Bad night (633)
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(406): View more from Montana

I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period

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(406): I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period http://tfl.nu/lg74

Replies (7) Good night (337) Bad night (600)

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