i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"