If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?