What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night