party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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