there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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