Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
