you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
