margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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