This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
