TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
