Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (943)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  No, it just says ur easy

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  (954): Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead? (787): No, it just says ur easy http://tfl.nu/6cbn
  Replies (22) Good night (1129) Bad night (1754)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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  (310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw
  Replies (14) Good night (4089) Bad night (741)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them

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  (336): you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them http://tfl.nu/fxdr
  Replies (33) Good night (11963) Bad night (2443)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.

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  (850): Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please. http://tfl.nu/1q4n
  Replies (17) Good night (8171) Bad night (1211)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain

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  (612): i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain http://tfl.nu/an1d
  Replies (3) Good night (3900) Bad night (1057)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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  (419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup
  Replies (10) Good night (4479) Bad night (968)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.

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  (512): I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time. http://tfl.nu/q10l
  Replies (3) Good night (2331) Bad night (917)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

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  (570): My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener http://tfl.nu/73wy
  Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (1668)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course we have a beer bong

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how else would we feed our christmas tree

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  (267): of course we have a beer bong (267): how else would we feed our christmas tree http://tfl.nu/aebp
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.

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  (204): Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small. http://tfl.nu/6zla
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (794)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god

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  (781): Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god http://tfl.nu/k2hb
  Replies (7) Good night (1667) Bad night (650)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

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  (541): Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/bqm2
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  He asked me how france is treating me

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away

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  (+33): He asked me how france is treating me (312): Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away http://tfl.nu/omtr
  Replies (9) Good night (954) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.

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  (651): Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf. http://tfl.nu/d6io
  Replies (0) Good night (585) Bad night (351)

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