i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list