Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick