Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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(912): I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night. http://tfl.nu/zcqt

Replies (22) Good night (3123) Bad night (838)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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(775): Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/nqat

Replies (26) Good night (3583) Bad night (514)
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(503): View more from Oregon

So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.

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(503): So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video. http://tfl.nu/od0z

Replies (17) Good night (4810) Bad night (630)
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(386): View more from Florida

Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

(1-386): View more from Florida

You're going home with him aren't you?

(386): View more from Florida

I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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(386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az

Replies (12) Good night (1220) Bad night (2848)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

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(612): three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left. http://tfl.nu/3pzj

Replies (9) Good night (7535) Bad night (722)
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(207): View more from Maine

I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.

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(207): I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/pgeg

Replies (30) Good night (7036) Bad night (1071)
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(619): View more from California

When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.

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(619): When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward. http://tfl.nu/9nr4

Replies (27) Good night (980) Bad night (7480)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.

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(570): I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy. http://tfl.nu/0avy

Replies (34) Good night (2708) Bad night (1545)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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(484): Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/0j8c

Replies (16) Good night (863) Bad night (2757)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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(651): The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles http://tfl.nu/ulwd

Replies (7) Good night (3201) Bad night (674)
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(815): View more from Illinois

You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

Best Friends For Life.

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(815): You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub. (1-815): Best Friends For Life. http://tfl.nu/ev62

Replies (7) Good night (3394) Bad night (571)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink

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(215): no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink http://tfl.nu/rce8

Replies (3) Good night (1497) Bad night (478)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.

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(+44): I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home. http://tfl.nu/i339

Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (275)
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(678): View more from Georgia

She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.

(1-678): View more from Georgia

Sweet, got a date tomorrow night

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(678): She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet. (1-678): Sweet, got a date tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/04fq

Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (194)
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(330): View more from Ohio

my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark

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(330): my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark http://tfl.nu/b8mx

Replies (9) Good night (713) Bad night (472)

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