some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.