i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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