do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
