If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize