i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
