I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
