I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
