we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
