she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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