I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
