ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
